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You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Might
Radiator
Hose
Redneck
Sink
Kitchen
Use

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You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.
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It's sad when you see somebody that talented that passes away and doesn't have to.
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You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
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You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.
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I just love people. I love this country. I am the American dream. I grew up by the airport with a dirt yard. Never in my life should I have been a success. So that's what I love about this country [USA], is you get out there and you have the opportunity and you work hard at it, and you can be a success.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.
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As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.
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If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.
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You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
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People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
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If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's babydoll.
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You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.
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It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.
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You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
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You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
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I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.
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I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.
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You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.
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You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.
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