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You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Radiator
Hose
Redneck
Sink
Kitchen
Use
Might

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The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
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I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.
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Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it.
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You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!
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You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.
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You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
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You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
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You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.
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You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
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I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
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You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.
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If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.
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We're a heart attack away from losing the right to bear arms.
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You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.
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You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
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I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again.
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If you think fast food is hittin a deer att 65 miles per hr.. you might be a redneck
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I really don't require a whole lot in life.
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