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You might be a redneck if you own at least 20 baseball hats.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Redneck
Hats
Baseball
Least
Might

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I really don't require a whole lot in life.
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I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again.
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You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
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You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.
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You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the Dirt for Sale sign in the front yard.
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The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.
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You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
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If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.
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I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.
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If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
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I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.
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You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
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You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
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Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?
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You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.
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You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
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