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You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Sweetheart
Redneck
Married
Law
Might

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.
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You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.
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We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us.
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If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.
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You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.
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When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn.'
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You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
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I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
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I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.
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You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
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Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it.
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The biggest thing I've learned is to listen to my own gut. I have learned to trust my instincts.
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Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.
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I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead
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You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
Jeff Foxworthy
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I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.
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You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
Jeff Foxworthy