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You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Married
Law
Might
Sweetheart
Redneck

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.
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You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
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You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
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You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
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You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.
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You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
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Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
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Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.
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I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.
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If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.
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If men have a smell it's usually an accident.
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You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.
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Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.
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Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.
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You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
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You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.
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You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.
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I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.
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You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
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