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You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Law
Might
Sweetheart
Redneck
Married

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My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
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You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.
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The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
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You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
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You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
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Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.
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You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.
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If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.
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You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
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You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
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I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.
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You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?
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There's no down time any more.
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You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my ship came in.
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You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
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You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
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You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it.
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Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
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Country music is about new love and it's about old love.
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