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I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
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More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
As a comedian I appreciate every kind of comedy. You decide for yourself what you're going to do.
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I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
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You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.
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You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
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You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
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You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
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You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.
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As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.
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You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
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You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.
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You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.
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To me, the media in New York and LA have always missed the essence of this country.
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If you think fast food is hittin a deer att 65 miles per hr.. you might be a redneck
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You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
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I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.
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You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.
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There's no down time any more.
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Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?
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