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I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Even
Watches
Thinking
News
Watch
Walk
Walks
Point
Away
Gotten
Everything
Clock

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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To me, the media in New York and LA have always missed the essence of this country.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.
Jeff Foxworthy
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[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
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You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
Jeff Foxworthy
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I just love people. I love this country. I am the American dream. I grew up by the airport with a dirt yard. Never in my life should I have been a success. So that's what I love about this country [USA], is you get out there and you have the opportunity and you work hard at it, and you can be a success.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.
Jeff Foxworthy
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The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'
Jeff Foxworthy
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The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
Jeff Foxworthy
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I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead
Jeff Foxworthy
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I would love for someone to offer me a serious part in something. I don't know if I could even pull it off, but I would like to be the cowboy that rides off and someone shoots him off the horse in the middle of town. Just a serious role. It wouldn't have to be a big one.
Jeff Foxworthy
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If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.
Jeff Foxworthy
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As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.
Jeff Foxworthy
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It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.
Jeff Foxworthy