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Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Generations
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Even
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Sex
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
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You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
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You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
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You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.
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You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.
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You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.
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If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.
Jeff Foxworthy
I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.
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Sacrificing myself to kill Hilary Clinton was the best thing I could possibly do for humanity
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If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.
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If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
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If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.
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[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
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You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!
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You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.
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A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
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