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Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
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Film Producer
Screenwriter
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Voice Actor
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Atlanta
Georgia
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Generations
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.
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The biggest thing I've learned is to listen to my own gut. I have learned to trust my instincts.
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The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
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Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.
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You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
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You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
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You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
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If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's babydoll.
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You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.
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You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
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You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.
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You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
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People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
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I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.
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Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.
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It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.
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You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
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You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
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You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.
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People are like, Hey, Jeff, lemme tell you... I'm like, Hold on, let me get a pen and a piece of paper.
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