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Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
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Sex
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Generation
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
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When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.
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Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.
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You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.
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You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.
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You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
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People are like, Hey, Jeff, lemme tell you... I'm like, Hold on, let me get a pen and a piece of paper.
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Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.
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You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.
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You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
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Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
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You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the Dirt for Sale sign in the front yard.
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I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.
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You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.
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I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.
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You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
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I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.
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