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You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Parakeet
Parakeets
Redneck
Phrase
Phrases
Police
Open
Might
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
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You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
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The biggest thing I've learned is to listen to my own gut. I have learned to trust my instincts.
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We're a heart attack away from losing the right to bear arms.
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You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
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You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
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I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.
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You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right
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It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.
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You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
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You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.
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You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.
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You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.
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You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
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You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.
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You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.
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You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the Dirt for Sale sign in the front yard.
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You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
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People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
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Country music is about new love and it's about old love.
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