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You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Parakeet
Parakeets
Redneck
Phrase
Phrases
Police
Open
Might
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
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Children that play outside develop better problem solving skills and have a stronger ability to work within a group.
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You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
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It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.
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When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.
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If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.
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I just love people. I love this country. I am the American dream. I grew up by the airport with a dirt yard. Never in my life should I have been a success. So that's what I love about this country [USA], is you get out there and you have the opportunity and you work hard at it, and you can be a success.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.
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You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.
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You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
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Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
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You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
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You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!
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You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.
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I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
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Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.
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You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
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There's no down time any more.
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It's sad when you see somebody that talented that passes away and doesn't have to.
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