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You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Might
Parakeet
Parakeets
Redneck
Phrase
Phrases
Police
Open

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You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
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You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
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You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.
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You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the pull my finger trick at the family reunion.
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Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.
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I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead
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You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
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I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
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We're a heart attack away from losing the right to bear arms.
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You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
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You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.
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You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
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You might be a redneck if motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.
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If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.
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Redneck is: the glorious absence of sophistication
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We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us.
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You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
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I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
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My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.
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You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
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