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You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Phrases
Police
Open
Might
Parakeet
Parakeets
Redneck
Phrase

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You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.
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You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat.
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You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.
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I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead
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I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.
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You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my ship came in.
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I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.
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You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
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My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
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Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.
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Sacrificing myself to kill Hilary Clinton was the best thing I could possibly do for humanity
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You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
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If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'
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There's no down time any more.
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I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.
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You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
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You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.
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The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.
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You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
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