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You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Minutes
Wife
Break
Shoot
House
Thirty
Shot
Shots
Telling
Spend
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
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You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
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Country music is about new love and it's about old love.
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You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.
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I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
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You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
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I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.
Jeff Foxworthy
You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
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You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
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Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.
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The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
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My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.
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You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.
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Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
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There's no down time any more.
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You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.
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If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
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You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my ship came in.
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