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You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
House
Thirty
Shot
Shots
Telling
Spend
Minutes
Wife
Break
Shoot
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.
Jeff Foxworthy
I really don't require a whole lot in life.
Jeff Foxworthy
As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.
Jeff Foxworthy
What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.
Jeff Foxworthy
I would love for someone to offer me a serious part in something. I don't know if I could even pull it off, but I would like to be the cowboy that rides off and someone shoots him off the horse in the middle of town. Just a serious role. It wouldn't have to be a big one.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.
Jeff Foxworthy
I think with a comedian, when you get to the point of a greatest hits, it's kind of an acknowledgment that you've been doing stand-up a long time, which not very many people do.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.
Jeff Foxworthy
As a comedian I appreciate every kind of comedy. You decide for yourself what you're going to do.
Jeff Foxworthy
If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the pull my finger trick at the family reunion.
Jeff Foxworthy
Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
Jeff Foxworthy
Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
Jeff Foxworthy
If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.
Jeff Foxworthy