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You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
House
Thirty
Shot
Shots
Telling
Spend
Minutes
Wife
Break
Shoot
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.
Jeff Foxworthy
I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead
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If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.
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I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.
Jeff Foxworthy
You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
Jeff Foxworthy
Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.
Jeff Foxworthy
Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
Jeff Foxworthy
To me, the media in New York and LA have always missed the essence of this country.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.
Jeff Foxworthy
The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.
Jeff Foxworthy
If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
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The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
Jeff Foxworthy
