Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.
Jeff Foxworthy
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Minutes
Wife
Break
Shoot
House
Thirty
Shot
Shots
Telling
Spend
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
Jeff Foxworthy
My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.
Jeff Foxworthy
It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.
Jeff Foxworthy
Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
Jeff Foxworthy
If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
Jeff Foxworthy
Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.
Jeff Foxworthy
It's sad when you see somebody that talented that passes away and doesn't have to.
Jeff Foxworthy
When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.
Jeff Foxworthy
Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.
Jeff Foxworthy
You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.
Jeff Foxworthy
I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
Jeff Foxworthy
I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.
Jeff Foxworthy
