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If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
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Voice Actor
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Atlanta
Georgia
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More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.
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Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it.
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I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.
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We're a heart attack away from losing the right to bear arms.
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You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
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You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
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You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
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If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.
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You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.
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You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
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You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
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I really don't require a whole lot in life.
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You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.
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You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.
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You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
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You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
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You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right
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I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.
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You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!
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A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
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