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You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Redneck
Limits
Call
Might
Ufo

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If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.
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You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
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When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn.'
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You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.
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You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.
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Redneck is: the glorious absence of sophistication
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My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.
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You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.
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You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
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Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
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