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You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Call
Might
Ufo
Redneck
Limits

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We really didn't have the option of being couch potatoes when I was growing up. There were only three television channels and the only kid's programming was on Saturday morning. We always played outside until we could hear Mom calling us (not by cell phone but with her hands cupped around her mouth) that it was dinner time.
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The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'
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If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
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It's sad when you see somebody that talented that passes away and doesn't have to.
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You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.
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We're a heart attack away from losing the right to bear arms.
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Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
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I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.
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Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
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You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
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I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.
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You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
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You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.
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You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!
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If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
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If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.
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You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat.
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