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You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Ufo
Redneck
Limits
Call
Might

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Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.
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You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
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You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.
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You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.
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I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
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To me, the media in New York and LA have always missed the essence of this country.
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You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.
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Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges he got guys off the fishing docks.
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You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.
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It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.
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If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
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I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.
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You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.
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Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
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You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
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If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.
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Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.
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