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You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Might
Ufo
Redneck
Limits
Call

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A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
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You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.
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You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
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You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
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If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
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If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.
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You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
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If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!
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I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again.
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You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.
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You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
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You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.
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You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my ship came in.
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You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
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Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.
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You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.
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You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.
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If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.
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