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A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Seen
Sister
Everybody
North
Think
Weather
Thinking
South
Balloon
People
Couldn
Balloons
Married
Ufo
Told
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Wasn
Dating
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
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Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
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You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
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People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
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You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.
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If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
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Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.
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You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.
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Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
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I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.
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You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
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You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.
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You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
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You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.
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If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.
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There's no down time any more.
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You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
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You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.
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