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A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Married
Ufo
Told
Swear
Wasn
Dating
Seen
Sister
Everybody
North
Think
Weather
Thinking
South
Balloon
People
Couldn
Balloons
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
Jeff Foxworthy
I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
Jeff Foxworthy
I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again.
Jeff Foxworthy
I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.
Jeff Foxworthy
You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.
Jeff Foxworthy
The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
Jeff Foxworthy
If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
Jeff Foxworthy
As a comedian I appreciate every kind of comedy. You decide for yourself what you're going to do.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.
Jeff Foxworthy
Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
Jeff Foxworthy
Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.
Jeff Foxworthy
Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.
Jeff Foxworthy
