Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
Jeff Foxworthy
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Everybody
North
Think
Weather
Thinking
South
Balloon
People
Couldn
Balloons
Married
Ufo
Told
Swear
Wasn
Dating
Seen
Sister
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
If men have a smell it's usually an accident.
Jeff Foxworthy
It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
Jeff Foxworthy
You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.
Jeff Foxworthy
When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn.'
Jeff Foxworthy
I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.
Jeff Foxworthy
Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.
Jeff Foxworthy
I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
Jeff Foxworthy
Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
Jeff Foxworthy
If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
Jeff Foxworthy
If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.
Jeff Foxworthy
Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.
Jeff Foxworthy
I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
Jeff Foxworthy
