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You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Buying
Sex
Married
Getting
Free
Like
Peanuts
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.
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[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
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If men have a smell it's usually an accident.
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I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead
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You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
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Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.
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You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.
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You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.
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The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.
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It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.
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You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.
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You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the pull my finger trick at the family reunion.
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You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
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You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.
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You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
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You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.
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You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.
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You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
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Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.
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