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You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Sex
Married
Getting
Free
Like
Peanuts
Buying
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
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There's no down time any more.
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It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.
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The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
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If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the pull my finger trick at the family reunion.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
Jeff Foxworthy
You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.
Jeff Foxworthy
The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?
Jeff Foxworthy
If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.
Jeff Foxworthy
It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
Jeff Foxworthy
If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
Jeff Foxworthy
Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
Jeff Foxworthy
