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Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Really
Louisiana
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Much
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.
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You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.
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Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.
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You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.
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You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!
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As a comedian I appreciate every kind of comedy. You decide for yourself what you're going to do.
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You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
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The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
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The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'
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You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.
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You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
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Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.
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Redneck is: the glorious absence of sophistication
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You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.
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I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again.
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You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
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The biggest thing I've learned is to listen to my own gut. I have learned to trust my instincts.
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You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.
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Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.
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