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If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Humor
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Funny
Bucket
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Buckets
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Redneck
Might
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Meals

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You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
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You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
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You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
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People are like, Hey, Jeff, lemme tell you... I'm like, Hold on, let me get a pen and a piece of paper.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.
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You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
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You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?
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Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
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You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.
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Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
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You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
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Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.
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You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
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You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.
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People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
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You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
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I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.
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I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
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