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The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Thought
Nine
Things
Mystery
Would
Humor
Time
Knowing
Talking
Funny
Universe
Mysteries
Stuff
Thirty
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
Jeff Foxworthy
I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.
Jeff Foxworthy
It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.
Jeff Foxworthy
You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
Jeff Foxworthy
If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
Jeff Foxworthy
We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.
Jeff Foxworthy
I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead
Jeff Foxworthy
Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.
Jeff Foxworthy
