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The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
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Knowing
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Funny
Universe
Mysteries
Stuff
Thirty
Thought
Nine
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Mystery
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More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.
Jeff Foxworthy
My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
Jeff Foxworthy
If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.
Jeff Foxworthy
I think with a comedian, when you get to the point of a greatest hits, it's kind of an acknowledgment that you've been doing stand-up a long time, which not very many people do.
Jeff Foxworthy
We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.
Jeff Foxworthy
It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
Jeff Foxworthy
The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'
Jeff Foxworthy
I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.
Jeff Foxworthy
You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the Dirt for Sale sign in the front yard.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my ship came in.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
Jeff Foxworthy
