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Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Something
Smell
Cleaners
Like
Gonna
Yard
Clean
Wardrobe
Baby
Spit
Humor
Yards
Funny
Babies
Living
Shirt
Looks
Shirts
Nauseated
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.
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You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
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You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
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You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
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You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
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You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
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You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
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If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's babydoll.
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You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
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If you think fast food is hittin a deer att 65 miles per hr.. you might be a redneck
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I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.
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Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.
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The biggest thing I've learned is to listen to my own gut. I have learned to trust my instincts.
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I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.
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People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
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You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
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You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.
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Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future.
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You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
Jeff Foxworthy
