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Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Funny
Babies
Living
Shirt
Looks
Shirts
Nauseated
Something
Smell
Cleaners
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Gonna
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Spit
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More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
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The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.
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You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.
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Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.
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You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
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You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
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People are like, Hey, Jeff, lemme tell you... I'm like, Hold on, let me get a pen and a piece of paper.
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You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
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You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.
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As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.
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You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.
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When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.
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You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
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You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.
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You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
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Redneck is: the glorious absence of sophistication
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What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.
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You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the pull my finger trick at the family reunion.
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If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.
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