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You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
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Atlanta
Georgia
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Pounds
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More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
I think with a comedian, when you get to the point of a greatest hits, it's kind of an acknowledgment that you've been doing stand-up a long time, which not very many people do.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it.
Jeff Foxworthy
Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.
Jeff Foxworthy
Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.
Jeff Foxworthy
You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.
Jeff Foxworthy
Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.
Jeff Foxworthy
I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
Jeff Foxworthy
