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You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Humor
Side
Sides
Diapers
Funny
Kidding
Change
Directions
Every
Pounds
Holds
Boxes
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.
Jeff Foxworthy
If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
Jeff Foxworthy
When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn.'
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
Jeff Foxworthy
You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!
Jeff Foxworthy
Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
Jeff Foxworthy
A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.
Jeff Foxworthy
I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
Jeff Foxworthy
It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
Jeff Foxworthy
