Quote

You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Humor
Side
Sides
Diapers
Funny
Kidding
Change
Directions
Every
Pounds
Holds
Boxes

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
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Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.
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You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.
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You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
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You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.
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You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
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You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.
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You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.
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You might be a redneck if you own at least 20 baseball hats.
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The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.
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If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.
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Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.
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You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.
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You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.
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I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.
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You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.
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My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.
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Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.
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If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.
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