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We're a heart attack away from losing the right to bear arms.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Heart
Attack
Bear
Bears
Losing
Arms
Away
Right

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
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You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.
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A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
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To me, the media in New York and LA have always missed the essence of this country.
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You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.
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You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.
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We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us.
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You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.
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You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.
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We really didn't have the option of being couch potatoes when I was growing up. There were only three television channels and the only kid's programming was on Saturday morning. We always played outside until we could hear Mom calling us (not by cell phone but with her hands cupped around her mouth) that it was dinner time.
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Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?
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You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.
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You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
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You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.
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The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
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The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.
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You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
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You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
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You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.
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You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.
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