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We're a heart attack away from losing the right to bear arms.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Away
Right
Heart
Attack
Bear
Bears
Losing
Arms

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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We really didn't have the option of being couch potatoes when I was growing up. There were only three television channels and the only kid's programming was on Saturday morning. We always played outside until we could hear Mom calling us (not by cell phone but with her hands cupped around her mouth) that it was dinner time.
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You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
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You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.
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Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges he got guys off the fishing docks.
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You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.
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You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.
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You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
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You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.
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You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
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You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.
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The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'
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It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.
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If men have a smell it's usually an accident.
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If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.
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I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.
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I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.
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You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
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Country music is about new love and it's about old love.
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You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
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If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
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