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Sacrificing myself to kill Hilary Clinton was the best thing I could possibly do for humanity
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Sacrifice
Clinton
Humanity
Best
Thing
Hilary
Sacrificing
Possibly
Kill
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.
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If you think fast food is hittin a deer att 65 miles per hr.. you might be a redneck
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I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead
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You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.
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You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
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You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
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You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
Jeff Foxworthy
You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
Jeff Foxworthy
Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges he got guys off the fishing docks.
Jeff Foxworthy
If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.
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If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.
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You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.
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My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
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You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.
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The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.
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You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
Jeff Foxworthy
The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.
Jeff Foxworthy
