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I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Chance
Actually
Read
Delta
Farce
Script
Scripts
Couldn

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If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's babydoll.
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A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
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You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
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You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.
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When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.
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I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
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You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.
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You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!
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You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
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The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.
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You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.
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Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.
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You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
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Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
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As a comedian I appreciate every kind of comedy. You decide for yourself what you're going to do.
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If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!
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Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future.
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You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.
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