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As a comedian I appreciate every kind of comedy. You decide for yourself what you're going to do.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Comedy
Going
Every
Kind
Comedian
Decide
Appreciate
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
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Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.
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If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.
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You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
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You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.
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The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.
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I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.
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You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.
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You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it.
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You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.
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You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.
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You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.
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You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
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The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.
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You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.
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You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.
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You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
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You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
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Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.
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If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.
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