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The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Night
Crack
Going
Comics
Every
Cracks
Believe
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Road
Negative
Crazy
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More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.
Jeff Foxworthy
People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
Jeff Foxworthy
You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
Jeff Foxworthy
I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
Jeff Foxworthy
You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
Jeff Foxworthy
I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.
Jeff Foxworthy
[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
Jeff Foxworthy
Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
Jeff Foxworthy
