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The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Crazy
Stand
Night
Crack
Going
Comics
Every
Cracks
Believe
Paying
Road
Negative
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.
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When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn.'
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You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.
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You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
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I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
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You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
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You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.
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Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.
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You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.
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You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.
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You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.
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There's no down time any more.
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[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
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I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead
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I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.
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If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.
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Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
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You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
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You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.
Jeff Foxworthy
