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The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Believe
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Road
Negative
Crazy
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Night
Crack
Going
Comics
Every
Cracks
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.
Jeff Foxworthy
I just love people. I love this country. I am the American dream. I grew up by the airport with a dirt yard. Never in my life should I have been a success. So that's what I love about this country [USA], is you get out there and you have the opportunity and you work hard at it, and you can be a success.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.
Jeff Foxworthy
Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?
Jeff Foxworthy
You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
Jeff Foxworthy
You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.
Jeff Foxworthy
If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.
Jeff Foxworthy
We're a heart attack away from losing the right to bear arms.
Jeff Foxworthy
You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.
Jeff Foxworthy
If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges he got guys off the fishing docks.
Jeff Foxworthy
If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
