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The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Believe
Paying
Road
Negative
Crazy
Stand
Night
Crack
Going
Comics
Every
Cracks
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
Jeff Foxworthy
It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.
Jeff Foxworthy
I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.
Jeff Foxworthy
I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
Jeff Foxworthy
You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
Jeff Foxworthy
If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's babydoll.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.
Jeff Foxworthy
Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges he got guys off the fishing docks.
Jeff Foxworthy
You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
Jeff Foxworthy
I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.
Jeff Foxworthy
I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
Jeff Foxworthy
