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If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Beard
Fake
Mines
Mine
Wanted
People
Incognito
Shave
Mustache

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Country music is about new love and it's about old love.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
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Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it.
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Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
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You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
Jeff Foxworthy
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When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn.'
Jeff Foxworthy
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We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.
Jeff Foxworthy
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I would love for someone to offer me a serious part in something. I don't know if I could even pull it off, but I would like to be the cowboy that rides off and someone shoots him off the horse in the middle of town. Just a serious role. It wouldn't have to be a big one.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the Dirt for Sale sign in the front yard.
Jeff Foxworthy
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I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
Jeff Foxworthy
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If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Redneck is: the glorious absence of sophistication
Jeff Foxworthy