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Redneck is: the glorious absence of sophistication

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Sophistication
Redneck
Glorious
Absence

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
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The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
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You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.
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Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it.
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You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.
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You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.
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You might be a redneck if you own at least 20 baseball hats.
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Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future.
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You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
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If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.
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You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
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You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.
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You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
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You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.
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You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
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Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.
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A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
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You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
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You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
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If men have a smell it's usually an accident.
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