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Redneck is: the glorious absence of sophistication

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Sophistication
Redneck
Glorious
Absence

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
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Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it.
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You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
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You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
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As a comedian I appreciate every kind of comedy. You decide for yourself what you're going to do.
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I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.
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People are like, Hey, Jeff, lemme tell you... I'm like, Hold on, let me get a pen and a piece of paper.
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You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
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You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?
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You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.
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You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.
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You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.
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You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!
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As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.
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The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.
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You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.
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I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again.
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We're a heart attack away from losing the right to bear arms.
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If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.
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My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
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