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Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Gary
Kinda
Sex
Alone
Talking
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More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.
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You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
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Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
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If men have a smell it's usually an accident.
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You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.
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If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.
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You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
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I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
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My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
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You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.
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You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!
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The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'
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What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.
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You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
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You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
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Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.
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I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.
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You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
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People are like, Hey, Jeff, lemme tell you... I'm like, Hold on, let me get a pen and a piece of paper.
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