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Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Kinda
Sex
Alone
Talking
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Gary

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
Jeff Foxworthy
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The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.
Jeff Foxworthy
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If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.
Jeff Foxworthy
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I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
Jeff Foxworthy
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If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
Jeff Foxworthy
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My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!
Jeff Foxworthy