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If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Taxes
Money
Might
Deduction
Bail
Deductions
Redneck
Biggest
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
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Sacrificing myself to kill Hilary Clinton was the best thing I could possibly do for humanity
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You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
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I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.
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Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?
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As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.
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You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.
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The biggest thing I've learned is to listen to my own gut. I have learned to trust my instincts.
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[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
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It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.
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Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.
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Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges he got guys off the fishing docks.
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You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
Jeff Foxworthy
You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right
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You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
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You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
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I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again.
Jeff Foxworthy
