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If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Taxes
Money
Might
Deduction
Bail
Deductions
Redneck
Biggest

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?
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You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
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You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.
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You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.
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I would love for someone to offer me a serious part in something. I don't know if I could even pull it off, but I would like to be the cowboy that rides off and someone shoots him off the horse in the middle of town. Just a serious role. It wouldn't have to be a big one.
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I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
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Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future.
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You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
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Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.
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You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.
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You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
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I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
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The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
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You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.
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I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
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You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
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You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
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You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.
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Sacrificing myself to kill Hilary Clinton was the best thing I could possibly do for humanity
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