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If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Redneck
Biggest
Taxes
Money
Might
Deduction
Bail
Deductions
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
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You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
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You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my ship came in.
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You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
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If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.
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A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
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I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.
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My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
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You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?
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You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.
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You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.
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You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.
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You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.
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You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
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There's no down time any more.
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It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.
Jeff Foxworthy
