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If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Redneck
Biggest
Taxes
Money
Might
Deduction
Bail
Deductions

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.
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I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.
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You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
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If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.
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You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my ship came in.
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Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future.
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You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.
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You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
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You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.
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You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
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You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.
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You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
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People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
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You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.
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You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
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You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
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Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.
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My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
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You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
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I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
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