Quote

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Wheels
Car
Inspirational
Doesn
Home
Redneck

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You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
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The biggest thing I've learned is to listen to my own gut. I have learned to trust my instincts.
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You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
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You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
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You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it.
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You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
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I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.
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You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.
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Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future.
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You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
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People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
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You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
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You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
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If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!
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You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.
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Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
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You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
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Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges he got guys off the fishing docks.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
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You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
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