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It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Think
Thinking
Loser
Humor
Funny
Hard
Years

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.
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Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.
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You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
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There's no down time any more.
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Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
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You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.
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You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
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You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
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You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
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You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
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You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
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When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn.'
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You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.
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You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.
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If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.
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You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.
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Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.
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If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!
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You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
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