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You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Sound
Times
Might
Tornado
Tornadoes
Redneck
Describing

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If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
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You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
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Redneck is: the glorious absence of sophistication
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You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.
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Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future.
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To me, the media in New York and LA have always missed the essence of this country.
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I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.
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You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.
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I would love for someone to offer me a serious part in something. I don't know if I could even pull it off, but I would like to be the cowboy that rides off and someone shoots him off the horse in the middle of town. Just a serious role. It wouldn't have to be a big one.
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It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.
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You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
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You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat.
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You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.
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People are like, Hey, Jeff, lemme tell you... I'm like, Hold on, let me get a pen and a piece of paper.
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As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.
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Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.
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If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!
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A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
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Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
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