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You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Tornado
Tornadoes
Redneck
Describing
Sound
Times
Might

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
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You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.
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You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
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Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
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You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.
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If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
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I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.
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You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
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You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
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You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
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The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'
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It's sad when you see somebody that talented that passes away and doesn't have to.
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If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
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If you think fast food is hittin a deer att 65 miles per hr.. you might be a redneck
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Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.
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You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!
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Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.
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My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.
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People are like, Hey, Jeff, lemme tell you... I'm like, Hold on, let me get a pen and a piece of paper.
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